


Life With You

by zams



Category: Supernatural RPF
Genre: Angst, Hurt/Comfort, M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2011-08-10
Updated: 2011-08-10
Packaged: 2017-10-22 11:13:39
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,074
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/237445
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/zams/pseuds/zams
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>AU. It's not perfect, but it's theirs.</p><p><em>Jared works twelve-hour days at the local plant. He's big and strong, so he gets the hard jobs, the ones no one else wants.</em></p>
            </blockquote>





	Life With You

**Author's Note:**

> Originally posted on LJ in March 2010 and slightly edited in August 2011. Thanks to Taylor for beta'ing.

Jared works twelve-hour days at the local plant. He's big and strong, so he gets the hard jobs, the ones no one else wants. Heavy lifting day after day gets tiresome after a while, as does the smoggy air and harsh sounds of gears grinding, but he can't complain; he needs the money. Sure, it's tough, but it's the best paying job he's had in years, and he’s not likely to find a better one.

Besides, he and Jensen are finally settled thanks to his job. He’s making fifteen thousand more a year at the plant, a hefty and much needed pay increase over his old job at the grocery store. That extra money let them move out of the crummy, two-room apartment they’d lived in for a couple years and into a small house. Granted, the house is run down and needs some repairs, but it’s infinitely better than what they had, and it’s _theirs_ , a roof over their heads and a warm bed to sleep in. When they have time and aren’t too tired, he and Jensen work around the house, fixing leaks and insulating drafty windows. It’s going slow, but they’re making progress. Someday, it’ll be a real home, and he doesn't want to move again.

Yes, his job is hard and demanding, but he has to do it. Not only for himself, but for Jensen. Jensen's happy here, and Jared doesn't want to ruin that just because he’s tired and sore. Jared only has his high school diploma, so he can't hope for much more than a factory job. He was never good in school, and college was never an option for him. Jensen, though... well, Jensen has an associate's. He’s smart. He has hope. He can go back to school, get his bachelor’s like he’s always wanted. That's why Jared works, for Jensen. Always for Jensen.

Jensen wants to be a teacher. With his degree, he was able to get a job as a teacher's assistant at the elementary school. When he got the job, Jensen was ecstatic. He can't teach alone yet, but he gets to be around the kids, see them learn and grow. Now their refrigerator is covered with colorful drawings and their conversations are filled with funny, endearing stories about the children Jensen works with. Jared lives for the happy twinkle in Jensen's eyes and the smile on his face when he tells these stories. He just wishes he could give him more.

Shivering, Jared pulls his worn jacket tighter around him to ward off the chill and quickens his pace. Ever since their old, junky car gave out a month ago, they have to walk to work. It's a small town, so it's not far to either the factory or the elementary school, and it's finally spring so warm weather is coming. Sure, they have to get up a little earlier without the car, but they're able to walk most of the way together, holding hands and just _being_  with one another, and Jared thinks that makes it worth it.

Jared heaves a sigh of relief when he turns down their street. It'll be so good to be home. Today wasn't a good day; it was a particularly bad day, actually. Everything that could go wrong did. Materials were packaged wrong and had to be disposed of, wasting valuable product. A man was laid off because of downsizing and was irate. He had to be escorted out of the factory, and just had to get in some last jabs at Jared for being gay. Then of course when his friend Jeff was training him on welding, he messed up and the stern, disapproving look his boss gave him said he wasn't very pleased.

All Jared wanted was the day to end, and now that it has, he needs Jensen. Needs to hold him and kiss him and share his strength. He hurries the last bit, seeing the light on in the house. It’s like a beacon, promising warmth and comfort.

The closer he gets to that promise, the faster his heart beats, a smile breaking out on his face. Opening the door, being careful that he doesn’t completely rip it off the hinges, he steps in the house, the heavy burden of the day lifting from him at the sight of Jensen in the kitchen area. He's got the radio on, playing some classic rock type music as he makes some sandwiches for dinner, so he's oblivious to Jared's arrival.

Jared shrugs his jacket off, laying it across the back of the well-worn but surprisingly comfortable couch, and then makes his way over to Jensen. Wrapping his arms snuggly around Jensen's waist, Jared kisses his way along his jaw. "Hey."

Jensen leans back into his embrace easily, angling his head so he can see Jared. "Hey," he says quietly, smiling a bit. “I’ve been waiting for you.”

Leaning down, Jared takes his lips in a deep, warm, and comfortable kiss. Jensen opens up to him, letting Jared have anything he asks for, just as he always has. Finding the hem of Jensen's shirt, Jared slips his hand under it so he can caress Jensen’s stomach as they kiss, the skin smooth and supple.

"God, I love you so much," Jared whispers when he breaks the kiss some moments later, his arms tightening almost painfully around Jensen from the force of the emotion behind his words. Resting his forehead against Jensen's temple, he continues, "I'd be lost without you, Jen."

Pulling away slightly, Jensen turns around in Jared's arms, lips curved down a bit in a frown.

Jensen's hands come up and smooth the worry lines from Jared's brow. "Hey, what's wrong? Are you thinking silly things again?"

Jared smiles a little. Jensen knows him so well, can tell what he’s thinking from just a look. "No. I just... I'm..." he trails off, frustrated with his inability to articulate what he's feeling.

"Hey, I get it. I do," Jensen says, gently running his fingers through Jared's hair.

Jensen always seems to understand what Jared can't say.

"But it's okay," Jensen says. "We're okay. We have a house, our jobs, food, each other. What else really matters?"

It's not that simple. It can't be. "But you deserve more than that," Jared spits out bitterly, angry with himself. "You deserve better than  _me_."

Jensen looks surprised at his sudden out burst of self-hatred. "Maybe I deserve more, but so do you," he says, his words firm and strong, filled with conviction. "And I certainly do not deserve better than you. There is  _nothing_ better than you."

"But-,"

"No," Jensen cuts in sharply. "Stop it. Just stop it. Sure, our life isn't perfect, but we're together, Jared. After everything we've been though, we're together and we're strong. We have more than a lot of people have."

Jared's eyes fall away, breaking contact. Jensen’s never blamed him for how they have to live, but sometimes insecurities overwhelm Jared, bringing those feelings of worthlessness and inadequacy that he tries so hard to hide to the surface. Not to mention the  _fear_ , the fear that someday Jensen will realize that Jared is only holding him back, that he'd be better off without him. And when that day comes, Jensen will leave him, and Jared doesn’t know how he will be able to survive.

Jensen's hands, rough and calloused from years of hard work, cup his face, forcing Jared's head to turn.

"Look at me."

Jensen's voice is low and firm, but not harsh, not cold. Hesitantly, Jared obeys, meeting his eyes. 

"I love you," Jensen says. "Nothing will ever change that. I wouldn't trade my life with you for all the money and comforts in the world. None of that would mean  _anything_  if I didn't have you. Do you understand that?"

There's really only one answer for that. "Yes," Jared whispers, pulling Jensen closer to him. "Yes."

"Good," Jensen murmurs, sliding his hands up so that they twine around Jared's neck. Gently applying pressure, Jensen coaxes his head down. "Now kiss me."

Jared smiles before he presses his lips to Jensen's, his tongue slipping inside Jensen’s inviting mouth easily. The tension in his body melts away in the face of their kiss, and Jared eagerly takes in all the love and desire Jensen is giving him, letting it wash away the frustration and worry from the day.

When Jensen pulls back long moments later, he smiles, his lips slick and pink. "You feel better?" he asks, his thumb gently stroking over the back of Jared's neck.

"Yeah," Jared answers with some surprise; he actually does feel better. Jensen always knows just what Jared needs to hear to chase away his demons, the dark clouds that hover over him. They're not gone, and they may never be, but with Jensen in his arms, warm and solid and  _his_ , they don't seem to matter so much. His heart doesn't feel so heavy, isn't weighed down by all the bad things. When he's near Jensen, it's easier to block out the negativity and remember all the good things he does have.

Jared hopes that someday things will change. Maybe they'll have a house that doesn't leak when it rains and doesn't have nicked paint and peeling wallpaper. Maybe they’ll have dinners that are more than cold sandwiches and canned soup. Maybe Jensen will be able to go back to school and finish his education so he can be a teacher, and Jared won't have to work so much. It'd be nice to do something other than work and sleep and eat. 

Maybe a lot of things will be different. Better. Easier. Someday.

"Hey."

Jensen's soft voice breaks through Jared's thoughts, and he looks down at Jensen questioningly.

"Are you sure you're okay?"

"I'm fine, Jen," Jared says, pecking him quickly and trying to smile.

Jensen stares at him for a moment, searching his eyes for the truth of his words. Finally, he says, "Okay." 

Jensen's hands drop down to his shoulders, pushing against the hard muscles. Jared sucks in a sharp breath at the action, flinching.

"You're really tense tonight," Jensen observes, brow furrowed.

Jared’s answer is simple: "It was a rough day.”

Jensen frowns and says, "I'll get a bath running. Hopefully there's some hot water. It'll be good for your muscles before I give you a massage."

As he is everyday, Jared's amazed by the love Jensen has for him. He wonders what he ever did that was good enough to earn him someone as loving and wonderful and selfless as Jensen. Nearly every night, Jensen gives him a massage, rubbing the bone-deep ache out of Jared's sore muscles. Working such physically demanding jobs would have ruined his body a long time ago if it weren't for Jensen.

Jared's chest suddenly feels tight. "Thanks," he says, the single word not nearly enough to express what he's feeling. He wants to say so much more, tell Jensen how much he loves him and needs him, make sure he knows how much he appreciates everything Jensen does for him, but again he can't find the words.

Jensen just smiles, though, understanding the meaning behind the inadequate word. Jensen kisses him once more before easing himself out of his embrace and Jared immediately misses his warmth.

"I made a couple sandwiches for you, so eat them and then join me in the bathroom," Jensen says before he turns and walks away. 

Jared catches his hand before he can go too far, and Jensen glances back at him from over his shoulder. "What?"

"I love you." Jared squeezes his fingers briefly before letting Jensen's hand drop.

"Love you, too," Jensen replies, holding Jared's gaze for a moment.

Watching Jensen disappear into their tiny bathroom, Jared allows himself a small smile as he picks up one of the sandwiches Jensen made—his favorite: turkey, cheese, and mustard on wheat—and takes a bite. Today was a bad day, but it's better now. Yes, their life may not be perfect, but it's  _theirs_. His and Jensen’s. As long as he remembers that, he thinks he'll be okay. After all, with Jensen beside him, supporting him and loving him, Jared can do anything. He's a better and stronger man because of Jensen, and he'll do everything in his power to be deserving of Jensen's love. He'll never give Jensen a reason to regret being with him. Never.

 

 **END**


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